The fact I'm even considering what I'm considering scares me. It was mount kilaminjaro of Africa that grazed the heavens, there were no others coming close to touch the gods. I was the closest to heaven when I was atop that mountain. I can relate to eminems song Crazy in Love and Puke, thats fuckin stupid.

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listening to: Vast - Lady of Dreams
mood: Light

It's been a while. So much to say, but the words can't come out. I feel so light, that's all I can say. So light that I'll soon be able to fly. It's an amazing feeling considering how I've felt over the past year.

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Well, it's been a while since I made an entry. I couldn't even tell you whats been going on since then. Actually, I had one of the funniest worst days of my life. But first, the premise. I agreed to write to a paper for two of my friends. One for en101, and one for en102 honors. So for the en102 paper, I decided I'd take a trip down to the smithsonian african art museum, and I took the metro down there. The museum was great, and I really enjoyed the art work. Now I need someone to take a day trip and check out all the museums with me. So on my way back, I get back on the red line, which takes me to my stop. It's about a 30 minute ride to that stop. So I start to doze off, and I decide to close my eyes for a couple mins. I wake up, and about 30 minutes has passed, I'm at the stop right before mine. So I feel accomplished now, like I did something great. So the train goes to what should be forest glen, but instead is takoma. I think, maybe it's the next one then, nope it's brookland. I fell asleep on the train and took an extra six stops. SO i laugh and get to my stop. Then, I walk 8 mins to get to my car, and get to the exit to pay my 4 bucks for parking. Get there, and apparently I have to buy a smarttravel card from the station. So I park my car, take 4 bucks in change and walk another 5 mins to the station. The card costs 10 bucks, so I have to walk another 5 mins to get back to my car, get money, walk back to the station, pay for the card, and walk back to my car. So I'm relieved when I finally leave the station. I get home, eat lunch, and at about 3 start to read for the paper. At 4:30 I start to doze off again. So i decide to set my alarm for 5 and wake up and go to see a movie for my film class. I fall asleep and see it's 521, and think to myself, it's so fucking early. Then start thinking about my schedule for wednesday forgetting it was still tuesday. Then as everything starts to sink in, I realize I overslept and now I'm late for my 530 movie. Get to the theater at 6, and sit through a crappy ass movie. So I'm leaving and in the parking lot is a guy from my workplace, he's a really nice guy though. But I've wondered about his sexuality. So he's wearing a kinda tight sweatsuit, and he says whats up and shakes my hand. We exchange pleasantries and when we shake hands again, he caresses my hand while letting go. I never felt so violated, I dont know why, but that pissed me off to no end, and was a great way to end the funniest worst day of my life.

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People go through cycles, and they never get out of them. They're doomed to eternal suicide because they're so stupid they never change their lifestyle. A life of venireal diseases, depression, and teen pregnancy followed with poverty. I refuse to follow in this cycle, I have my own path. And I'll never be led astray again. Dedicated to those stupid sluts who have two brain cells.

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Today was nice and chill, and I think this is already my second entry. I went to film class today and watched "Unsung Heroes". Great movie, pretty sad, but real sweet. It was a movie in the Sentimentalism genre, according to my professor. Then I went and grabbed some lunch with J-Gu, picked up Melvano and went to the new Target in PG plaza. Kids today are so fuckin weird, Melvanos already got a job as a bodygaurd and he gets $5 a week, but apparently he "hasn't got his paycheck yet". And there was a 13 year old spanish girl going out with a black boy, which is young to have a bf, but she's already gone through her "gay stage" at the young age of 7 when she went around making out with girls. What the fuck? Oh well, gonna go work out tonight, and get built, gotta look sexy when I meet my wife! Alright I'm out.

This is how I feel.

Eminem - Rabbit Run
(written by: Eminem)

"Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks,
Everytime I go to get up I just fall in pits,
My life's like one great big ball of shit,
If I could just put it all into all I spit,
Stead of always tryin to swallow it,instead of starin at this wall and shit,
While I sit writers block sick of all this shit, can't call it, shit,
All I know is I'm about to hit the wall if I have to see another one of mom's alcoholic fits,
This is it, last straw, that's all, that's it,
I ain't dealin with another fuckin politic,
I'm like a skillet, bubblin until it filter's up,
I'm about to kill it, I can feel it buildin up,
Blow this building up, I've concealed enough,
My cup runneth over, I done filled it up,
The pen explodes and busts, ink spills my guts,
You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,
Well I'ma show you what, you gon feel my rush,
You don't feel it then it must be too real to touch,
Bill the dutch, I'm about to tear shit up,
Goosebumps, yea, I'ma make your hair sit up,
Yea sit up, I'ma tell you who I be,
I'ma make you hate me, cause you ain't me,
You ain't, it ain't too late to finally see,
What you closed minded fucks were too blind to see,
Whoever finds me is gonna get a finder's fee, Out this world,
Ain't no one out they mind as me,
You need peace of mind, here's a piece of mine, all I need's a line,
But sometimes I don't always find the words to rhyme,
To express how I'm really feelin at that time,
Yea sometimes, sometimes, sometimes,
Just sometimes, it's always me, how dark can these hallways be,
The clock strikes midnight, one, two, then half past three,
This half ass rhyme with this half ass piece of paper,
I'm desperate at my task, if I could just get the rest of this shit off my chest again,
Stuck in this slump, can't think of nothin,
Fuck I'm stuck, uh, wait, here comes somethin,
Nope, it's not good enough, scribble it out,
New pad, krinkle it up and throw the shit out,
I'm fizzlin out, thought I figured it out,
Ball's in my court but I'm scared to dribble it out,
I'm afraid, but why am I afraid, why am I slave to this trade,
Cyanide, I spit to the grave, real enough to rile you up,
Want me to filp it, I can rip it any style you want,
I'm a switch-hitter, bitch, Jimmy Smith ain't a quitter,
I'ma sit until I get enough in me to finally hit a fuckin boilin point,
Put some oil in your joints, flipt the coin bitch, come get destroyed,
An Emcee's worst dream, I make em tense,
They hate me, see me and shake like a chain-link fence,
By the looks of em you would swear that Jaws was comin,
By the screams of em you would swear I'm sawin someone,
By the way they're runnin you would swear the law was comin,
It's now or never, and tonight it's all or nothin,
Mama, Jimmy keeps leavin on us, he said he'd be back,
He pinky-promised, I don't think he's honest,
I'll be back baby, I just gotta beat this clock,
Fuck this clock, I'ma make them eat this watch,
Don't believe me, watch, I'ma win this race,
And I'ma come back and rub my shit in your face, bitch,
I found my nitch, you gon hear my voice
Till you sick of it, you ain't gonna have a choice,
If I gotta scream til I have half a lung,
If I have half a chance, I grab it,
Rabbit Run! "

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Well ladies and gentlemen, I found my wife. She is by far the most beautiful person, most beatiful anything actually, I've ever laid my eyes upon. I have decided I will not get married unless it is to this very gorgeous woman. Call me ambitious, call me unrealistic, I will make it a reality. Who is this mysterious beauty I speak of? Her identity shall remain shrouded in secrecy until the day I walk down the aisle with her, but she is the only one for me. I've found I don't really care for the whole dating scene, I don't know why, I just don't want to do it. I was told by a friend, this whole falling in and out of love thing is too much, I agree. So I'll just try and get ahead in life, and not worry about any stupid slut that might come my way. er girl, the two are interchangeable. Which smoothly connects me to another thought, I hate society these days. Everybody's just going around fucking eachother, no meaning in the sex, just gratuitious sex. We really are a morally declining society, it's okay though, I'll hold steadfast to my beliefs, and learn from all the mistakes I've made in my life. Ya know, people always refer to certain situations in their life as "mistakes", but a mistake is only a mistake if you make it once. Once you repeat it, it's not a mistake, it's deliberate, and will be repeated many more times. Oh well, things will never change, people will be this way for a long time, I've just got to find a way to only surround myself with people who are gonna show me love, and not drain me of every last bit of life.

On another note, this weekend was fun. I didn't do anything Friday night, I went to bed at 1100, quite dorky, but it's okay, I wasn't the only one who stayed home, so I had some company. Saturday was pretty cool, I went to Katies and watched some family guy with her, Erin and Kelly. Took a few shots of Bacardi cocoa, chilled with some interesting bammas who had really interesting stories of run ins with the cops, then went and played a long ass game of tennis with Keran. Which was by far the best game of tennis I've played in my life, sadly enough I sustained a weird ass injury where it felt like a tendon in my ankle popped out of place and laid on top of the muscle. It was gross, but when we were leaving, it popped back into place. Went back to Kerans dorm, took some shots of a rum that was 10.99, and was a handle. So, that was some cheap ass liquor, then we went to a party, but I felt a bit uncomfortable so left soon after. I didn't do shit yesterday, just went to work, then got some coffee with Taphia and hit up Borders where I bought the new Modest Mouse cd. Which is pretty good, nothing too great.

This entry is dedicated to finding my true love, I vow we will get married.

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